


Daylight

by deathmarkedlove_archivist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2018-11-18 05:38:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11284791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmarkedlove_archivist/pseuds/deathmarkedlove_archivist
Summary: Buffy is Spike's sunlight, but will they ever get together? R/NC-17





	Daylight

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Hils, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Death-Marked Love](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Death-Marked_Love). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Death-Marked Love collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/deathmarkedlove/profile).
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing I write will ever be a part of the show. I do not own any rights to the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for that is all Joss Whedon and the wonderful actors and actresses of the show. I do not own the song provided. I have borrowed everything to give a different aspect of Buffy & Spike for their fans, like myself. Please do not sue me, for I am a poor student, and have nothing that could interest anybody as great as the people who are responsible in this great show. I did write the story, however, do not own everything that is in the story.  
> Credits: I would like to thank you Joss Whedon and the wonderful cast for putting together such a great show that inspired me to live outside of my own mess of world. Also, my friend in New York that inspired me to write and keep it up, she has also helped me with this story.
> 
> Author’s notes: I wrote this just for entertainment value, and as far as I can figure it doesn’t come from the show in anyway. I wanted to bring a little romance, and unfortunately it has a little sadness to it, but I hope you still enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> From the Show: If anything resembles the show in anyway I am genuinely sorry. I will have to say that this does have some premises of after “Wrecked” episode, and the “Gift”. I do love the song “Rest In Peace” that Spike sings in the musical episode, so I did use that for him to sing here in my story. Everything else as far as I can tell is just from my little imagination.
> 
> Ratings: R/NC-17
> 
> Words I believe are important to live by:
> 
> “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.” Buffy Summers, “The Gift” 2001

He sat and watched the stars come thru the blanket of darkness that consumed he night sky, like pins of light trying to burst out to him. It felt like forever since he saw her last, and is chest ached with every minute she was away from him. Every night though, since she had been brought back she had spent it with him. Every thought of her sent shivers thru his spine. Every night he was graced with not only knowing she was alive again, he was able to be around her, take in everything about her, her smell of vanilla from her hair, her piercing green eyes, and a smile that made his heart burst from his chest at every glance. He knew any minute she would be there with him, so they can spend the night patrolling, but to him the nights meant more then that. More then anything he, she, or anybody in the world could have imagined. Nobody could ever understand how, or why he loved her so much, but he knew she gave him something that was taken from him long ago. Standing under the tree mesmerized still by the stars above, he pulled out his last cigarette from his pack, not really paying much attention to things around him, which was stupid considering he was in a graveyard. _But hey, I am the Big Bad, remember_ , Spike thought to himself gazing still into the night sky. In a small whisper, he felt a hand graze his shoulder, and with a slight shudder a smile rouse across his face when the smell of vanilla and rosemary consumed his senses.

“Hey luv, are you ever going to make one of our little dates on time, or what?” Spike said with a smirk.

“I am on time Spike, and we are so not even close to dating.”

Spike spun around lightning fast and grabbed her shoulders, and pulled her close. Both frozen in silence in each other’s eyes for a split second her warm breath consuming the cold of his neck, lost in his oceans of blue when he took in an un-needed breath at their closeness, until reality kicked into them, and both looked down lost in the memory of the moment.

In another gasp for air from Spike, he simply smirked and said, “That’s because you don’t know what is good for you yet pet, but you will,” and with that he turned to walk thru the cemetery with Slayer lagging behind.

Buffy was furious at his statement, but was shocked in silence probably for the first time ever in here entire life. Her silence pained her, his words echoed inside of her, and she could feel the slightest forms of tears bubbling up behind her eyes. _What am I crying about? Spike doesn’t know anything about me, and why in the world am I not beating the crap out of him for saying that? Why do I care?_ Storms of emotions were bellowing thru her mind and her soul. The screaming in her head rang thru her ears, and it was her own voice shouting out at the top of her lungs, but she could never make out what she was saying, or wasn’t saying in this case. Confusion, and anger dripped from Buffys face, as she would glare up at Spike, with his little smirk on his face. He knew she was looking at him, and more importantly Spike knew that his words were true, and he had finally hit something inside of her. That’s what made his smirk more of a smile, he was going insane inside with pure elation knowing he had touched the Slayers heart, or soul.

“I just want to beat the crap out of you right now Spike, do you know that?”

“I know,” Spike said as his smile grew.

Buffy couldn’t contain herself any longer and just punched him, but it wasn’t like her. Her punch wasn’t across his face, which was a major plus in Spike’s eyes, and it was almost like a friendly tap, well as friendly as a Slayer could possibly punch something, right on his arm. Spike didn’t want to press his luck so he faked the pain, dropped his smile, and clutched his arm. All he wanted to do was make her happy, and he knew that little bit right there would do it for her. _Sometimes she is so easy to please_. Spike thought to himself.

They walked thru graveyard for a while, and really not much was going on. They found a fresh grave, which eventually gave rise to a new childe vampire where upon Buffy staked it the minute it came up from the earth.

“How come you Vamps are so stupid when you first rise.” Buffy questioned.

“Hey now pet, not all of us are stupid when we first rise. It is that whole waking…..” Spike couldn’t even finish. Knowing what she had been thru only month’s back, he did not want to relive it for her thru his words. Afraid to cause her pain he inhaled his words into silence. Spike hated even thinking about the whole thing. All he ever wanted, or needed to think about was her being with him right now giving him a piece of heaven. Buffy knew he was pausing to spare her a rehash of coming up from her own grave, but sometimes it felt like it didn’t hurt as much to think about it. Those times of course were few and far between. She noticed though that those thoughts hurt less only around Spike, and not her friends. Trembles flew up her body like a ghost just walked thru her on the thought that when she was around Spike, of all ‘not so much people’, she wasn’t scared to think about her own rise from the earth.

“Spike, you can finish saying it, I am ok, honest.” Buffy said as she slowly raised her head to meet his gaze.

Silence filled the air for what seemed like eternity until Spike continued in a low whisper, “Well luv, it’s like this. When you are lying in the coffin and all of a sudden you wake up, you are surged with panic. A panic never known to you. The desire to breath swarms across you like liquid fire….”

Buffy’s body shook from his words, her need to breath was so fierce, when she woke up in her own coffin, all the pain she was inflicting upon her fingers, and knuckles as she clawed, broke, punched, and slammed past anything that was in front of her was not affecting her at all. No pain in the world could have stopped her from taking her ‘first breath’.

Spike slowly put his arm around her, hesitant to touch her at first, but then guided her to a near by bench to finish his tale. He didn’t really want to continue because of how much he was inflicting pain on his love, but he also knew she was never really one for asking twice. Suffering pierced thru her eyes as his words overwhelmed her memories of her own rise, but she yearned for him to continue.

Spike sat next to her as close as possible to give her comfort, but still not to overstep his bounds between him and the Slayer. Again he began his own recollection of the aftermath of being turned into the demon he is.

“The desire to breath swarms you, but the need to breath is vacant. Only memories of your life force you to take that first breathe when the air touches your cool skin, and then hunger consumes your entire being. Bloodlust takes over and tortures your body. No knowledge of this type of hunger has ever been known to you. The hunger is beyond power, it is life. The need for that first life to absorb into you makes you go crazy, makes the darkness inside of you consume you more. So, from the minute you rise from the earth that held you nothing but life matters to you, and it sure is not your own.”

Buffy waited a moment and took in all his words, and sadness tugged at her heart knowing this is what happened to her Spike. Her thoughts stopped her for a moment as she took in the idea of him being hers. She blinked the idea away, wanting to hear the rest of his story.

“How come then some vamps are harder to kill then others, and some are not so evil? You know, some vamps like you Spike”

Spike scoffed at her mention of him not being evil. Defense poured from, “I am still evil Slayer. I told you I have always been bad.”

He smirked at the roll of her eyes, and just continued in a sincere tone. “Sometimes Buffy the darkness that takes control of us, doesn’t get us completely. We still see life around us in the night of the trees, flowers, and even people we walk amongst when the sun goes down. Sometimes, not always that life touches us a little more then our want to take it. Sometimes we realize that if we take that life away we can never enjoy it again. The ones that don’t realize that stuff, they can never see past the darkness.” Spike slowed his speech, afraid to speak the poofters name. “When I met Angelus the only light he had was Darla, and Dru. They were all he could see, and not because he didn’t notice anybody, or anything else around him, but because he didn’t want to. They were all he wanted inside of his darkness. He loved taking away life, and granted, I am a Vampire, and I must say that I have had my great moments of taking life from somebody. I can only be honest and say that sometimes it was the need for food, others was my need for the kill. No matter how much I don’t like to admit it in front of you, I am still a monster.” His sadness of the statement in her presence consumed him. “However, there is a big difference between vampires such as Angelus, and myself. I enjoy seeing the life, and having a little bit of light coming thru my darkness.”

Buffy smiled a little, and placed her small hand on Spike’s knee.

“Spike you are no longer a monster,” Buffy whispered.

Spike slowly moved his large cool hand over the top of hers, intertwining their fingers. They sat on the bench holding hands in silence for what seemed like hours as the night sky wrapped around them. Buffy looked up across the sky and small glimmers of red began shinning thru. The sun would be up soon and her time with Spike would have to end. That crushed her, sadness frenzied her entire being with thought of no longer being able to be around him. She didn’t know why this hurt so much, but all she knew is she loved being around him.

“The sun is raising Spike. I guess we should both go home.”

“I wish I could watch the sunrise with you Buffy. I also wish I could watch the sunset with you.” Spike said under his breath.

Buffy looked over at him a little confused by his words. _Why would he want to watch the sunrise, or set with me, that would kill him?_ Buffy thought to herself. She squeezed his hand a little more and stood up to walk him to his crypt before the sun came up completely. They both began walking still holding hands, not even noticing they were still touching one another. In front of the door of his crypt the sun was almost absorbing both of them, when Spike slowly let go of the Slayer’s hand, not wanting the night to end, or her touch to stop, but finally he walked into his home. The sun took Buffy’s breath away as it warmed her covering her completely in the daylight.

Spike leaned up against the door as it separated him from his love, and took in an un-needed breath clutching at his heart. Leaving her every morning made his heart stop all over again, for it beat for Buffy. He felt more alive every second he was next to her, and wanted more then anything to give her what she gave him, light in his darkness. Spike smiled as he remembered the night’s events of being able to hold her like he was hers. He was hers even if she didn’t like it, but one day she would be his, and he will spend eternity waiting for her.

Buffy walked away from his crypt slowly heading towards her home. All she wanted to do was go inside of his crypt and spend the day with him, spend the rest of her life at his side in his arms. She had to go though; there was no way she was going to fall into that trap again, loving another vampire. As she walked into her home Dawn was just getting ready for school.

“Hi Dawnie,” Buffy said.

“Late night uh?” Dawn said with a smile.

“Yeah, not a lot going on, just talking with Spike. I think I am going to go up and get some sleep though. Have a good day at school.” As Buffy walked away to go upstairs, Dawn muttered under her breath.

“Spending all night with Spike, and now needing some sleep uh?” She said with a smirk as she started to leave for school.

Up the stairs Buffy turned in a flash, “I heard that,” as she smiled at the thought.

Buffy went upstairs and changed into her pajamas, and collapsed onto her bed. She lay there staring up at the ceiling, not being able to go to sleep, just thinking of Spike. Her thoughts ranged from just sitting with him watching the sunrise in each other’s arms, having dinner on a balcony as the sunset above them, and what it would be like to kiss him goodbye after spending hours holding each other. The feel of him in her arms, the taste of his kiss on her lips brought a smile across her face as she started closing her eyes. She knew all this was, was fantasy, but it was a great fantasy to fall asleep to.

Buffy woke up when she heard her sister come thru the door. She came out of her room to see Dawn standing at the top of the stairs with a big grin drawn across her face, and without a word she went into the bathroom to take a hot shower. After the shower she went to her room and got dressed, needing to get to the Magic Box before she headed out on patrol to meet Spike. Buffy smiled as she dressed from the thought of her soon being near Spike. She came downstairs and into the kitchen, and fixed Dawn and herself some dinner. They sat at the table in quiet, until Dawn couldn’t take it anymore.

“So, did you and Spike have fun last night.” Dawn said with a smirk.

Knowing exactly what she meant, she couldn’t believe how grown up Dawn’s words got everyday, “No, we were just up talking.”

“Uh huh. You and Spike had that much to stay uh?”

“Yes, actually. We were just up talking about vampire stuff, that’s all!” Buffy rolled her eyes biting her lower lip.

“Ok, ok, so what all did you guys say.” Dawn said curiously.

“Well, nothing really exciting. He was just telling me how come vamps are not all that bright. He did say one thing that was interesting though.” Buffy began drifting off in her memory of his words.

“Well, what did he say that was so interesting Buffy?” Dawn asked.

“Uh? Oh, nothing.” Buffy said unsure if she should repeat it to Dawn, but she wanted to tell somebody about it, for some reason.

“Come on Buffy, you can tell me. I promise I won’t tell anybody, and I won’t say anything.”

Buffy shook her head for a moment, thinking if she should tell Dawn what was on her mind. “Well, Spike said a lot of things actually, but when we were leaving he said that he wished he could watch the sunrise, and set with me.”

“So, what is the big deal with that Buffy? That stuff is supposed to be romantic, and you know he is in love with you. Why wouldn’t he want to do something romantic with you?” Dawn just looked at her waiting for Buffy’s response.

“That’s just it Dawnie. I know he loves me, and I…….I really enjoy being with him, and spending time with him, but we will never have that kinda romance. Anyways, the last vampire that loved me so much, and wanted to give me all that normal stuff, left me standing in the street alone and heart broken.”

“Is that what you think, Buffy, that Spike will leave you because he can’t give you normal stuff like that?”

“I don’t know. I mean why should it matter, we are not even dating or anything. I mean we won’t ever be dating, but the thought of him wanting to give me that stuff scares me.”

“Buffy, you give him so much. He loves you with all of his heart.” Noticing Buffy beginning to say something, she instantly cut her off and continued. “He does have heart Buffy, you just don’t see that you are it. You are Spikes heart, and soul. I can see it when I see him looking at you. You give him the sun that he cannot see, and all he wants to do is give a little of all that back to you.”

Buffy was astonished by her sister’s words. “How did you get so grown up?”

“It wasn’t hard when I have to take care of you and him.” Dawn said with a smile.

Buffy got up from the table rubbing her hand on her little sister’s head to make her feel like the grown up here, she collected the dishes and put them in the sink. “We better get ready, and get going to the shop Dawn.”

They both grabbed their stuff, and left their house.

They walked into the Magic Box and greeted their friends. Buffy walked over to the table and sat next to Willow, which was just sitting there reading a book. Willow has become so introverted since Tara left then the whole magic fiasco she went thru. She was sorta like the good old Willow, but also something about her was just not right. Buffy wasn’t going to push the whole Willow not being right thing, when deep inside herself she knew there was something off about her, but she did want to be there for her friend to help her control her magic.

“How are you doing Wil?” Buffy said in a low voice for only Willow.

“I-I am ok. A little twitchy here and there, but nothing too crazy.” Willow said with a small smile.

Buffy just smiled and put an arm around Willow for a small hug. Nothing too much was going on, so not a lot of activity happening with the research, or in the shop. Just a regular slow day for the Slayer, and the gang.

“Well, not much is going on lately which I am all about the happiness for, but I better get to the training room before I go patrol.” Buffy said getting up, as Dawn giggled under her breath. Buffy glared at her, rethinking the little heart to heart she had earlier with her sister.

In the training room Buffy did some meditation stuff just to get her mind a little more focused on her training, and little less focused on Spike. She was beginning to notice that the more time she spent with him, and away from him, she thought about him way more often. After meditation she got up and went straight for the punching bag. Spending about an hour releasing all her frustration out on the bag, she felt a little better, but still not as good as she felt when she was around the vampire. The thought of him that flashed thru her mind made her smile, as she looked out the window to see if the sun has gone down yet. She hurried up and changed her clothes to head out for patrol, and walked back into the shop.

“Ok guys, I am going to head out on patrol.” Buffy said.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Xander popped up from his boredom.

Quickly Buffy spun around almost at the door, “Oh, no I got everything under control. Thanks though.” Turned back around and left. Buffy didn’t want anybody intruding on her time spent with Spike.

Buffy walked to the cemetery, and her smile grew a little more with every step. Her smile grew even bigger when she entered the cemetery and saw Spike standing under the same tree he was last night. She stood and watched him for a little while, noticing him looking up into the night sky, and hearing his voice, but not being able to understand his words. His milky white face and peroxide blonde hair stood out from the darkness of the night sky. His black trench coat flowed over his sculpted body. His presence there in front of her was like a beacon to her in the blackness. Buffy slowly moved closer to him and brought her hands up to cover his eyes. He knew she was there, and died all over again for her touch.

“Talking to the sky now, Spike?” She said as her hands moved across his face.

Spike relaxed back into her, and said, “I was actually talking to you pet, you just weren’t here to hear me.”

Buffy let him go, and noticed his small whimper at the loss of her touch, and walked around him to face him. “Well then, are you going to tell me what you said then, since it was to me anyway?”

“Well luv, I will tell you one day. Not today though.” Spike smiled slightly.

Buffy pouted and all she could think about was what he was going to tell her, what he wanted to say. She turned from him a little upset that he wasn’t going to tell her what was on her mind, and began to walk thru the cemetery her arms crossed hugging herself, holding onto her emotions. This was their night together, walking and talking, sometimes even getting a slay in here and there. After a little while of not saying anything walking by each other she couldn’t contain it anymore, she threw her hands up and pushed him a little.

“Come on Spike tell me what you were saying when I walked up to you.” Buffy insisted.

“Ok Slayer, calm down. All I was saying….” Before he could finish Buffy and Spike was swarmed by a group of vampires.

The vampires jumped at the two quickly. Buffy ripped a stake from her belt and dusted the first one that lunged at her, and with a spinning back kick brought the second to his knees. Spike was punching one in his face grabbing at his shirt to keep him closer to him, and then staking him thru the heart. Another vamp took Spike to the ground with a drop kick to the back of the head. Buffy staked the second vamp before he could get from his knees, and then ran over to the vamp attacking Spike. Spike rolled over on his back to get up, and right when Buffy staked the vamp he shoved her to the ground on top of Spike. In an instant without hesitation Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy, holding her around her stomach slightly caressing her bare warm, silky skin with his thumb as they both watched the other vampires run. They lay on the ground, and Spike continued to hold Buffy as close to him as possible before she realized he was touching her and pull from him. To his surprise she didn’t move, she didn’t punch him, and thankfully above all else she didn’t stake him. Buffy put her arms over top of his, and asked again with a small grin.

“Now what was it you were saying?”

Spike smiled and held her closer to him, “You won’t ever let up will you pet?”

Buffy nodded and put his hand in his, still lying on top of him in his arms. Nothing as ever felt so natural, and so wonderful to her in her life. She never wanted anything more then spending her life in his arms just as she was right now. This was everything to her, gave her so much peace and happiness, something she hasn’t felt since she had been taken from heaven.

Spike leaned up to her ear, and whispered, “All I was saying luv was that at any minute my heart was going to beat, light was going to, pierce thru her darkness and warmth was going to swarm my cool body.”

“That’s what you were going to say to me Spike?” Buffy asked confused.

“Are you telling me that isn’t enough Slayer?”

“Well no, it’s not that. I just thought…..I just thought it was something else I guess.” Buffy said.

“There is something else.” Spike said under his breath.

Spike hugged her tightly one more time and began to move underneath her to stand up. He brought his hand out to help her from the ground once he had gotten to his feet. He pulled her up and carefully put his hand in hers as they continued to walk for their patrol.

He slowly began, “I also asked if you would stay with me tonight when we were done patrolling.”

“You know I can’t Spike.” Buffy cut him off.

Spike looked crushed. She turned and looked at him because his walk slowed and he began dragging behind her still clutching her hand in his.

“Well you know it was just a small suggestion, luv.” Spike said with a smirk. “Nothing to get your knickers in a twist luv.”

Buffy puffed up quickly at his remark, “Don’t think for one minute you have any effect on my knic….panties Spike!”

Spike grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, sniffing at her neck. “I know I have some kinda effect pet.”

Buffy shoved him away and he fell to the ground, flustered he looked up at her and lost himself in her deep green eyes.

“I don’t want to fight Buffy.” He said gingerly.

“Spike, I-I want to stay with you I think, but I am scared to.” Buffy said softly looking down to him.

“Buffy, I don’t want you to ever think I would do anything that would make you uncomfortable, or force anything from you. I just like being around you so much, that I hate it when you leave me, that’s all.” Spike said as he stood up, not wanting to look her in the face.

“So much stuff has happened lately I just haven’t been able to sort anything out in my head yet. I just need time to figure out stuff. To figure out my life.” Buffy said.

Spike’s stomach turned knowing the pain she was going thru and had went thru, the conflict she was in, in her head. “I am sorry luv.”

Buffy noticed Spike getting uncomfortable and tears beginning to swell up behind his eyes.

“Spike you don’t have to be sorry for me, and please don’t cry for me.” She put her hand up to his cool face, raising his gaze to meet her own.

“Luv, you just don’t get it yet. I am sorry, and I do cry for you. I am sorry because I am a monster. I cry because I cannot give you what u want. I am sorry, and I cry because I let you down when you needed me the most and that will never happen again. I will be sorry for you, because you cannot keep all that to yourself, I will cry for you because you should never have to cry all those tears on your own, and lastly I will die for you because you shouldn’t have to die again.” Spike said as he brought his own hand up to hers that was still on his face whipping a single tear from his face.

Buffy brought her other hand around his back and drew him closer to her, looking up at him bringing him down for a gentle kiss. She has thought about his lips long enough, and now finally needed to feel them against hers. His words swirled in around her heart and mind as she kissed his lips, and slightly opened them tasting his closed lips with her tongue. He opened his lips and brought her tongue into his mouth. Their kiss had so much passion in it the heat from the sparks they created could have lit the world on fire. She backed away from him to take a breath and look deep into his eyes. Buffy rolled out of his arms not letting go of his hand. They walked hand in hand towards his crypt, and when they got there Buffy turned and looked up at him, lost in oceans of blue.

“I guess this is goodbye for the night then pet?” Spike said.

“Do you want it to be?” Buffy popped up with.

Spike smiled at her and squeezed her hand, and pulled her close to him for a hug. “No, I never want to have to say goodbye to you again.”

“Then lets go get you some clothes then Spike.” Buffy said as she smiled into his chest.

Spike let go of her and went thru his door into his home, and down into the pit of the crypt to grab some clothes. He was practically skipping around gathering up his things, wanting to die all over again at the thought of being able to be around her more than just at night. Finishing up he ran up the ladder with his things in his hand, and without a second thought in mind reached out to put her hand in his as they left his home heading to hers for the rest of the night. They walked to her house hand in hand all the way until they reached the front door.

Buffy turned to Spike and put a finger up to his lips. “You have to be quite when we go inside, Dawn should be asleep.”

He nodded his head slowly, kissed her finger softly as it fluttered across his lips, and followed in behind her has she opened the door. They walked in and took off their coats and placed them on the coat rack. Buffy walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry’s out of the freezer and a spoon from the counter drawer. Spike watched from the table as she ate the ice cream, and slowly walked over to where he was sitting, and sat down in front of him facing him. All she wanted to do was look into his eyes. A small drip of ice cream fell from the spoon down her lips, and Spike reached up and placed his hand under her chin, pulled her close to him and licked the ice cream off. She put the ice cream on the table and moved her waist closer to him wrapping her legs around him. They held each other in their arms tasting each other’s want, and need for one another. He stood up from the table, placing his hands underneath her, lifting her with him so she would not let him go. They never lost a moment in their kiss, as he walked with her in his arms up the stairs swinging her door open. He placed her gently on her bed, she unwrapped her legs from him, and they kissed once more, then he pulled from her and walked to the door. Standing in front of the open door with one hand on the knob he looked over at her lying back on her bed on her elbows.

“Are you sure this is what you want Buffy?” Spike whispered at her, not moving his glance away from her.

Buffy nodded and gestured him with a finger to her bed to be next to her. He shut the door and locked it so little nibblet wouldn’t come in on them in the morning, or anytime. He slid up on the bed next Buffy and put his hand on her face moving it to the back of her head grabbing her hair and pulling her in for a kiss. They kissed like they were away from each other for eternity. He moved to his back and rolled her up on top of him. Straddling him she broke the kiss and sat up looking down at him she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head. Sitting there on top of him with her green lace bra, he brought his hand up to her shoulder and slowly moved it down her body, feeling every curve she has. Moving his other hand around her back he sat up holding her in his embrace and kissed her again feeding on her taste. He picked her up and rolled over on top of her lifting from her body, grazing his hands down her chest to the top of her jeans. His lips came down and gently kissed her belly as he unbuttoned her jeans. Licking up her stomach, and kissing the side of her neck he could feel her pulse speed up against his lips. He stood up and off from the bed grabbing the bottom of her jeans and pulling them slowly off her body taking in every inch of flesh that was being uncovered slowly. He wanted this moment to last, memorizing every inch of her. She laid there finally in her green lace panties and bra, so beautiful and graceful. She was his angel in an ocean of darkness. Absolutely gorgeous to his eyes, she would have stopped his heart if it were beating. Not being able to take his eyes from her, for it might be a dream, he pulled his shirt over his head revealing his sculpted body to her. She was his Venus, and he was her Adonis. Neither wanted to look away from the other, and when he undid his belt and dropped his jeans to the ground next to hers she saw his hunger for her.

Grabbing her leg in his hands, he brought it up to his lips and kissed her ankles as he began slowly crawling up her body kissing every part of her that his hands lost as they moved up past her panties to her bra. He gently unclasped it and slid it from her shoulders kissing right above her breast, cupping the other in his hand. He tickled her breast with his mouth, and slid his hands down to remove her panties. Throwing her panties off of the bed along with her bra he took in her need from him. She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down to her lips for another kiss, and opened her legs inviting him inside of her. He moved inside of her slowly as she devoured his entire length. She moaned in pure ecstasy as his cool skin invaded her warmth. She clawed at his back as she moved her hips to pull him in farther inside of her rocking with his motion. She moved her hands around his back like she was sculpting him, not missing one inch of his bare skin. He roamed her breasts with his hand admiring the work of art before him. Bringing her into his lips once again his motion became more forceful, and she had to pull from him to bite her bottom lip. All she wanted to do was cry out his name.

“Let go of yourself luv.” Spike whispered in her ear. “I want to hear your pleasure.”

She let go of herself and screamed out his name, and he moved into her with so much power it could have killed her if she wasn’t the Slayer. He moved his hand down inside of her warmth to make her let go again. Moving faster inside of her, not wanting to be away from her he clasped both his hands onto her shoulders and slammed back into her one more time with all the force he had and stayed there not moving, feeling her release all over him. She shivered underneath him, all of her muscles contracted around him and he lost himself inside of her. They both lay there holding each other trembling in each other’s arms. Buffy warmed him like he had just fed. His cool body became warm flesh as he laid on top of her listening to her heartbeat. Both feeling absolutely complete in each other’s arms.

“I love you Buffy.” Spike said with a smile.

Dawn laid on her bed with her eyes shut, thinking of how she needed more of an insulated room, but also that this was great.

Buffy tightly squeezed her arms around him, and he kissed her neck, licking her pulse as it raced out of control. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up, he would rather die then wake up from such a fantastic dream. He never wanted to let her go, and reluctantly he rolled over on his side next to her keeping his arms wrapped around her. She rolled on her side away from him, and he moved in to her to spoon her as she pulled a blanket up around them both. She laid there next him amazed at his breathing, she knew he didn’t have to, it was just amazing she could bring that out him, and she smiled. When his breathing stopped she placed her arm up around his arms that were holding her, and softly told him she loved him. Spike didn’t move, but he did smile as he heard her confession.

The next morning Buffy quietly moved from the bed trying not to wake Spike. She walked down stairs in her pajamas, hair all ragged from the nights events, and into the kitchen for some coffee, and to make Dawn her breakfast before she headed off to school. When the breakfast was done, Dawn came around the corner saw Buffy and a huge smile ran across her face.

“So, up all night with Spike again?” Dawn couldn’t resist.

“Ummm, what, no?! It was just a busy night that’s all.” Buffy said.

“Come on now Buffy I heard you guys last night. Why don’t you just admit that you guys are together now?”

Buffy was mortified that her sister heard them last night. She could barely look up at Dawn’s face. It was insane how much Dawn has grown up since she had died and come back from it, and it was even worse that she heard her and Spike together last night.

“I don’t want anybody else to know Dawn, and I am not really sure what is going on, but yes Spike and I have…something….I just am unsure of what it is right now.” Buffy said with a smirk remembering how he felt with her, inside her last night. She wanted that feeling every night.

Spike came around the corner in nothing but his jeans, “Hey nibblet.”

Both the sisters looked up at him as he walked over to the fridge to see what he could have for breakfast. There was no blood in there which he kinda figured, so he grabbed a cup of coffee and a bowl for cereal, and went and sat next to Buffy at the table. When he sat down next to her, he wrapped an arm around her pulled her face over to his and kissed her on the cheek.

“Morning to you too luv.” Spike said with a big smile on his face.

Buffy’s smile grew a little bigger as Spike kissed her. It felt so nice and wonderful to have him sleep next to her, wake up next to him, and then finally feeling a kiss from him in the morning. This was such a great world, and she totally loved it. This is all she wanted, for as long as she lived. Finally she realized what she wanted and she wasn’t scared of it, in fact it made her happy.

“Well I better get to school.” Dawn said as she left the kitchen. “You two have fun today, with that hot body Spike” Dawn’s last words were a little whisper under her breath as she shut the door.

Spike would have blushed at Dawn’s comment if he could, and with an arrogant smile grabbed Buffy one more time pulling her into him.

“She’s right you know?” Is all Buffy could say.

“I need a shower luv, would you like to join me?” Spike said with a small laugh from Buffy’s comment.

“No thanks. I am going to finish up here.”

Spike shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t ask.”

With that he left the kitchen and headed upstairs to the bathroom after collecting his clothes for the day from the bedroom. Buffy sat down in the kitchen lost in her own thoughts. This was the life she wanted before she gave up her life on that tower. She never got it then, and now during her third chance at life she had it. Could she loose it was all Buffy could think about. So afraid Spike would realize something and walk away from her. Those thoughts hurried thru her mind and scurried out just as quickly. There was no sense in thinking about stuff like that, it will led to nothing good. She heard the shower running upstairs and she smiled thinking of him up there in the shower naked, wet, and alone. She crawled up the stairs and quietly opened the bathroom door to hear Spike singing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_LET ME REST IN PEACE_

_LET ME GET SOME SLEEP_

_LET ME TAKE MY LOVE AND BURY IT IN A HOLE SIX FEET DEEP_

_I CAN LAY BODY DOWN, BUT I CAN’T FIND MY SWEET RELEASE_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike sang at the top of his lungs.

 _Man, do I hate his music_. She thought to herself, and smiled at the words of his song. She slipped her pajamas off and slid in the shower behind Spike wrapping her arms around his sculpted body. They wouldn’t let each other go, and eventually ending up back in her bedroom they made love again.

Buffy lay in his arms and held him as tightly as he held her. There was no way she was going to let him get away from her, she wasn’t going to loose somebody else she loved. Spike held her like any minute she would be gone, and this entire thing was a dream. No matter how much he tried to convince himself this was real, he still felt she would disappear if he gave her the chance.

“I need to tell my friends something about us Spike, but I just don’t know what” Buffy whispered.

“Us, luv? There is an us, uh?” Spike said as he smiled at the thought.

Buffy turned to look at him with a frown on her face. “You don’t think there is an us? You think I just make love with just anybody?”

The sound of her saying they made love, made him take in a deep breath. It was pure music to his ears. “Come now pet, I knew there was an us before you did.” His smile grew. “I think you should just be honest with them. They are your friends, so they should understand.”

“You really think after Angel and the years of you and I trying to kill each other, they are just going to think this is a great idea?” Buffy said, dripping with cynicism.

Spike jumped up from the bed and slid into his pants. “One I am nothing like Angel. There is no way I am going to leave you, harm you, or kill you. I would rather dust myself right here and now then think you would ever feel any type of pain again, especially pain that I caused. Two I have changed, and not because of this stupid chip in my head, but because of you and me! You made me change, and I wanted the change. I wanted to feel the things I feel when I am around you, and I wanted to enjoy the things you enjoy. I am all you Buffy. Like I have said before, I am drowning you Summers.” He leaned back onto the bed and kissed her gently on the lips.

Buffy smiled and got up from the bed and got dressed. “Well then, I better just be honest to my friends.” She went one last time over next to him, for one more kiss, and walked out. “I’ll be right back.”

Buffy got to the shop and the bell announced her arrival to her friends. She walked over to the table where everybody but Anya was sitting. She sat there for a second looking at all her friends in silence, working up some way to tell them. To make them understand this is not only something she wanted, this was something that she needed. She needed Spike to be a part of her life this way, as she needed her friends to be a part of her life the way they were. They were all equally important to her in their own special ways, and she knew she hadn’t shown it real well since she had been brought back, but she loved them all.

“I have something to tell you guys, and I am trusting you all because you are my friends, that I am doing the right thing by just being honest at the beginning. I do not want your judgment for this is not open for discussion.” With that said at first she began again. “Since I have been back I have had all kinds of stuff going thru my head, and not a lot of times have I been able to figure out what I really want, but this is something I want and need. I am just going to get right to the point and tell you something has happened between Spike and I.” A look of fear crossed everybody’s face at her words. “Nothing bad has happened to us, or anything like that, but we are……we are together now. I mean like as a couple, and I know deep down in my heart it feels right. So right I cannot even explain the feelings he brings out in me, and you don’t have to like it, but I am asking that you guys treat him like my boyfriend, because that is exactly what I want him to be, and I need him to be.”

After her rambling about her new relationship with Spike to her friends, they were speechless, no idea of what to say until finally Anya spoke up.

“See I told you she needed him.” Anya said with a huge smile on her face.

Everybody just looked at Anya, couldn’t believe everything that was being said right now. Anya just shrugged their looks off and looked over at Buffy with a big warm smile on her face. Buffy could only grin.

“Buffy, Spike is a monster, do you really….” Before Xander could finish Anya spoke right up, anger cascading from her words.

“So what does that matter Xander, you are marrying a demon. You are allowed to love a demon, but Buffy cannot love her monster?”

Buffy couldn’t help but smile when for the first time she heard ‘loving her monster’ out loud. He was her monster. She thought.

Xander snapped back. “You are an ex demon An. Spike is still a full blown monster.”

Anya couldn’t believe his words, she had the need to defend Buffy and Spike. “Just because I do not have my powers anymore does not make me any less of a demon. Demon blood will always run threw my veins, but with our love for each other I do not crave that side of my life anymore, and we all have seen for months now how much Spike loves Buffy, so I am sure he is the same way. He will always be tied to his monster inside of him, but I think Buffy keeps him away from it.” Anya stormed to the basement, and Xander sat for a moment staring at Buffy, then followed behind Anya to make peace with her.

Willow was the only one who hadn’t said anything about the new information that Buffy just announced. Spike flew thru the door all smoky under his blanket he wore around him to hide him from the day’s sun.

“What are you doing here Spike?” Buffy asked as she walked over to him, kissing his hot skin that burned from the sun.

Spike looked over at Willow as Buffy kissed him. “I didn’t want you to get yelled at, or whatever they are doing to you alone. We are in this together.”

Spike put his hand in Buffy’s and slowly moved over to the table where Willow was sitting still contemplating on what to say, now to the new couple in front of her.

“I-I think Buffy, if this is what you really want from life, you shouldn’t give it up. I mean how many more chances can a person get at making her life better.” Willow said with a grin.

Buffy reached out her arms and hugged her best friend. She was so happy that Wil wasn’t going to argue with her about this, and for really the first time she was happy Wil brought her back. She was right. How many chances does a person get to make their life better? Spike looked over at Wil and nodded his head with a smile on his face. He always liked the witch, even before he got the chip in his head.

“If you ever leave her, and break her heart Spike, I will dust you myself.” Willow said with her determination look on her face.

“If I ever have the notion Red to leave her, you won’t have to dust me. I will do it myself.” Spike said.

The three of them sat there at the table talking about all kinds of different things, while Anya and Xander were downstairs doing only they knew what. They sat up there waiting for Dawn to get there from school, and of course for the sun to go down, so Spike could walk home with them, without bursting into flames.

Months went by and everything seemed to be perfect. Buffy and Spike’s relationship grew more then they ever thought was possible, and the gang really enjoyed having him around. Xander would never admit it, but he liked Spike being around too, and he loved the way Spike treated Buffy. Things were just going great. Every once in awhile they would go out on actual dates, to movies, ice skating, anything that would come to mind, and they would double with Anya and Xander sometimes, others going out as one big gang, but most of the time they wanted time to their self. At night still Buffy and Spike would patrol together, and occasionally the Scoobies would go with them. After each night they would go home together to Revello Drive, where they lived as a family. A weird family granted, but a family non-the less.

Life went by as usual as it could be, for a vampire in love with a Slayer, and her in love with him. A sister made of energy, a witch that had to be supervised during her spells, and a mortal marrying a demon. The wedding went splendid, and everybody, even Spike was a part of it. Anya looked beaming standing up next to Xander as they wed. The days seem to have flown by after things slowed down after the wedding, which was kinda weird considering nothing was really going on.

Every night after patrolling Spike would hold Buffy in his arms. He ached when she would leave him, and he yearned to go out with her during the day just so he never lost her touch. He was ready to spend the rest of his un-life with her, needing her for as long as he could have her.

Buffy found Spike one night at the same old tree in the cemetery he used to stand under staring up at the stars muttering something into the cool black night. He was still so beautiful as his skin glistened in the darkness from the moonlight, and Buffy couldn’t help but smile at the memory of this same scene now a little more than a year ago. She slowly came up behind him moving her hands up over eyes. As always he knew she was there before she graced him with her warm touch.

“Still talking to the sky, Spike?” Buffy smiled.

Spike softly laughed, grabbed her arms and spun her around to face him. “Well, I was actually talking to you pet, you just weren’t here to hear me.”

They both smiled and he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He licked her taste from her lips longing for her to open them and invite him in. When she did passion swallowed both of them, and he wanted to pour himself into her. He graced feather kisses around her neck up to her ear.

“How about we go home for the night?” Spike whispered.

He softly grinded his hips up against her as he kissed her neck feeling her pulse rise under the touch of his tongue. Even to this day he was still astonished that she trusted him so much, even more that sometimes he got to taste her crimson sweetness. She could feel his want for her, his need for her. He leaned down and kissed her chest that was exposed from her tank top she was wearing, and took in a deep breath.

“I know you want to.” He said with a huge grin.

She grabbed his ears and pulled his head up.

“Your such a pervert!” She shouted.

He smiled, “And you love me.”

She wrapped her arm around his waist, and he put his arm around her shoulder. They walked side-by-side talking non-stop about anything and everything all the way to their home. The small things and the big things; mainly though it was the small things that made her smile the most, and he loved that.

Opening the door she put her hand in his, intertwining their fingers she started leading him up the stairs into their bedroom. He closed the door behind him and followed her to the bed. Laid her on the bed, gently kissed the top of her hand that was still in his. He moved from her and undressed himself slowly. He saw she was sliding out of her shirt when he grabbed her arms above her head stopping her, holding her shirt just above her lips. He kissed her gently and at his release she cried for his touch.

“Let me.” He whispered.

She let go of her shirt, and he removed it from her the rest of the way meeting her lips again. When she could see again she noticed Spike was already undressed, and now roaming her body with his lips and hands, not missing an inch of her flesh. He undressed her just as slow as he did the first night they made love, taking her in to his senses inch by inch all over again. She laid underneath him and arched her back up to him waiting for him to finally complete her.

“Please Spike. I need you inside me.’ She moaned.

He moved between her open legs and sheathed himself inside of her, letting her take over his body with her touch. He slowly moved inside of her enveloping himself in her love. They rocked together, savoring each moment and touch of one another. Moaning each other’s name in whispers of love. Spike moved up to her ear and nibbled on her lobe tantalizing her senses. Her warm sweet breath moved across his neck in warm waves.

“I love…..” Spike said softly in her ear, then kissing her lips gently and moving to her other her with a slight nibble, “making love to you Buffy.”

Her name on his tongue sent shivers thru her spine.

“I love you Spike.” She whispered with a tear.

They rocked together in passion, like waves of flames colliding with each other, for what seemed like eternity. Buffy released in a thunder of ecstasy underneath him, and Spike followed as her muscles flinched around him, filling her. He collapsed on top of her mourning the loss of her warmth as he rolled over trapping her in his hold.

“Buffy, I will follow you to the ends of the earth.” Spike said as he embraced her a little harder, not wanting to let her go.

“Always and forever.” Buffy said with a smile as sleep took her over.

Spike sat up and watched her sleep for hours lost in her face that was wrapped up in her own dreams, until finally sleep invaded him as well.

So much time together, but for the two lovers it never seemed to be long enough, yet they still cherished every moment. They both new the vampire’s immortal fate and the Slayers mortal destiny. All they needed though was to be together until the end of the world. They loved each other so much and their relationship grew with every passing day spent in each other’s arms and hearts. Even the Scoobies couldn’t think of a more perfect couple then Spike and Buffy. Their relationship seemed to spin the universe, change the stars, move heaven to earth, and day to light.

One night while Spike and Buffy were patrolling they ran into a few vamps in a park trying to feed off a small group of kids. When the Slayer and vampire surprised the vamps, they let go of the kids. The fight began when one of the vamps rushed at Buffy and threw her across the merry-go-round. Spike lunged at him and swept out his legs from underneath him dropping him to the ground. Another vamp ran towards Buffy who jumped from the ground and punched him in his jaw. Buffy came down with an axe kick down on the vamps shoulders. As Buffy and the one vamp were going at each other, another vamp snuck up behind Spike and grabbed him by his arms, so his friend could start punching him in his face without having Spike fight back. Spike went into a roll on top of the one holding him, came out of his grasp and as he stood up he staked the vamp still lying on the ground in one fluent vampire motion. _From dust to dust_. Spike thought to himself as he ran towards the vamp standing there looking on as his friend was just dusted. Buffy was punched with an upper cut to the face as she went to grab at the vamp that she brought to his knees. She flew back from the impact, and from the side of her eyes saw dust fly into the air. She couldn’t see Spike anywhere and her heart almost collapsed in her chest. She ripped out a stake from her jacket and instantly staked the vamp that punched her in the face as he ran for her. She ran and jumped at the vamp standing there, still in shock over his friend. She saw Spike still rolled up on his knees trying to steady himself from the blows he took repeatedly to his face. The vampire struggled with the Slayer on the ground for her stake. Grasping it in his hand with her directly above him he plunged it into her chest. The pain from the stake was blinding to Buffy, it seared thru her every being and she held the vamp close to her and with all her might ripped the stake from her chest and slammed it into the vamps heart. As he turned to dust underneath her, she feel to the ground with the stake still clenched in her hand. Blood was flowing all over from under her, when Spike grabbed her and rolled her into his lap. Dust and blood covered Buffy and the stake she still held in her hand. Tears were streaming down his face, not knowing what to do he grabbed her and picked her up into her arms.

“Hold still luv. I got you. I am going to fix you, don’t worry.” Spike said with tears running down his face.

Barely able to speak, Buffy whispered, “Spike take me to the cemetery.”

Spike looked down at her, “No, no we can help you.” He said shakily.

“Spike please, take me to the cemetery.” Buffy said softly.

He carried her all the way to the cemetery as blood poured out of her all over his clothes. He went to where her mom was buried, and laid her down over her grave, and then laid beside her clenching her in his arms.

“You cannot leave me again Buffy.” Spike cried.

“Spike this is it. I have had everything that I needed, or wanted. I am ready to go.” Tears poured from Buffy’s eyes.

Spike couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He put his bloodied hand up to her face and leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. The sun was beginning to come up slowly, and they noticed the light filling up the night’s sky.

“Spike you should go before the sun comes up.” Buffy strained her words.

“There is no way I am leaving you Buffy. I told you a long time ago, THAT was not going to happen.” Spike whispered.

“I love you Spike.” Buffy said with a groaning smile reaching up weakly to taste him one last time.

She tried to breath as much as she could and hold on to stay with her love, but her breath was failing her. She could feel the life begin to trickle from her.

“I get to see the sunrise with you luv.” Spike said as tears ran down his face. “You always gave me the light in my darkness. You were my daylight, you were my everything luv.”

The sun consumed them both and Spike began smoking beside her.

“I’ll met you in heaven my love.” Buffy said looking into his eyes, and he smiled then turned to dust.

Lying on her mother’s grave, Buffy took her last breath full of dust from her love, and died in the break of daylight.

Fin

Celtic

 

Feedback is appreciated


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